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Spectromagicuk
What a state circus
Written by Stuart Adam Gardner
Step right up to Wotta State Circus - a spectacular, all-new original school pantomime! Whilst Ringmaster Neptune scrambles to save a chaotic show, a backstage tour for his dramatic aunts reveals mutiny and mayhem. Can Neptune restore order under the big top before the final curtain falls? Packed with mimes, magic, muscle men, and high-flying comedy, this fast-paced production guarantees to leave your audience crying out for an encore!
Running Time - 1 Hours 45mins
Principal Cast Size - 24
Cast
Neptune - the Ringmaster and owner of Wotta State Circus
Barbara Barnum - Dame and aunt of Neptune
Zara Zippo - Dame and aunt of Neptune
Connie Cottle - Dame and aunt of Neptune
Blue Nun* - the performing circus horse
Buffu the Clown - the depressed circus clown
Mystical Megan - the circus psychic
Gunther - the human cannonball
Nellie - the circus elephant
Cosmo - the circus magician / warlock baddie
Villanya - Cosmo’s assistant / witch baddie
Kalabaz** - circus acrobat with a bad back
Shalazam** - circus acrobat with a bad back
Emma Pinto - the bearded lady opera singer
Candi Banger - the dancing bear
Silenzio*** - the mime
Charmaine - the snake charmer
Hesssper - the charmless snake
Seal Ted - the seal trainer
Muscoli - the circus strongman
Darna - the lion tamer
Llew - a terrified lion
Llullu - a terrified lion
Lloobilloo - a terrified lion
*Blue Nun is played by two people, the front and the rear
**Kalabaz and Shalazam speak nearly all of their lines in unison
***Silenzio doesn’t speak apart from one line
Script Sample
MUSCOLI - Oh, no! Sorry Neptune, we missed the opening number!
KALABAZ & SHALAZAM - Our fault! Muscoli was helping us to get out of bed.
NEPTUNE – Again!?
KALABAZ & SHALAZAM - Yes, I’m afraid so. We’ve done our backs in again!
NEPTUNE – [To audience] These two, dear audience, are Kalabaz and Shalazam. As you can see, they’re identical twins. [To Kalabaz and Shalazam] And supposedly our circus acrobats! You’re meant to be showing off your contortion skills later!
MEGAN - I have a message coming through. My spirit guide tells me... this show is going to be rubbish!
NEPTUNE – Thanks for that Meg!
MUSCOLI - Don't worry Neptune, I can do some contortion! Remember that time my arm bent all the way round my body?
NEPTUNE – Yes, but that was just because you tripped over whilst holding your dumbbells. [To audience] This, dear audience, is Muscoli, the circus strongman.
MUSCOLI - Everyone loves my dumbbells!
NELLIE – What did you call me!?
KALABAZ & SHALAZAM – Hey, Muscoli, you forgot to do your introduction, like you’re meant to do every scene!
MUSCOLI – Mamma Mia! You’re right! I’ll do it now... Mamma Mia, it’s ME, Muscoli the muscle man!
NEPTUNE – [Despairing] Oh my gosh, you guys are losing it; the show is going to be awful! Blue Nun and Buffu’s act is terrible, Kalabaz and Shalazam have popped their backs and Charmaine the snake charmer has lost her snakes!